Recovering From the Misstep

It started with a simple, offhand comment. I mentioned to a friend how much I missed swing dancing. The feeling of moving to music. Not just the rhythmic nodding of my head in the car, but the actual, physical act of dancing. Without missing a beat, she looked at me and said, "Then come swing dancing with me on Sunday."

I’ll admit, I hesitated. It had been years, and the idea of stepping onto a crowded floor felt intimidating. But I went. And as I spent the night spinning, stepping, and occasionally tripping over my own feet, I realized that swing dancing is much more than a hobby; it is a masterclass in the mechanics of living a balanced life.

Here are a few lessons from the dance floor that translate perfectly to our everyday lives:

1. The Art of Letting Go (Letting Others Lead)

In swing, particularly if you are in the "follow" position, you have to fight the urge to anticipate the next move. If you try to guess what’s coming, you lose the rhythm. You have to be okay with letting someone else take the lead.  This is not a skill I easily possess, so what wonderful practice for me.

In our real lives, we often suffer from a need to control every variable. Swing dancing reminded me that there is an incredible freedom in trusting someone else’s vision. Whether it’s at work or in a relationship, sometimes the best thing you can do is relax your shoulders and let someone else navigate for a while.

2. The Power of "Connection" (Giving and Receiving Pressure)

The most technical part of swing isn't the footwork; it’s the "connection." This is the tension between your hand and your partner’s. If your arm is too limp (a "spaghetti arm"), you can’t feel the lead. If you’re too rigid, you can’t move fluidly.

Life requires this same calibrated pressure. To collaborate effectively with others, you have to provide enough "resistance" to show who you are and what you need, but enough flexibility to move with the group. It’s about being present and engaged without being overbearing.  I know I can be overbearing at times, so what a fun reminder to look out for my needs without stepping on anyone else's toes.  Literally;)

3. Knowing When to Follow

I didn’t expect a swing dance class to teach me anything about my life.  I thought I was going to move my body and have fun.  But it did.

In the beginning, I thought being a good follower meant being helpful. I anticipated moves. I adjusted before I was asked. I tried to make the dance smoother.  

Instead, I felt tense and disconnected.  Like I was performing instead of participating.

Then something shifted.

I danced with someone whose lead was steady and unforced. And for the first time, I felt my body relax. I stopped predicting. I listened. I responded. The dance felt playful again.

That’s when I realized: following isn’t passive at all. It’s deeply intentional. It requires trust, awareness, and the willingness to stay present without controlling the outcome.

Life asks this of us constantly. To trust our intuition. Sometimes the following looks like listening more than speaking. Sometimes it’s supporting someone else’s timing instead of pushing your own. Sometimes it’s letting the rhythm of the moment guide you instead of your fear.

We don’t talk about this enough.  It is powerful to know when to soften, when to wait, when to respond instead of direct.

Following well doesn’t mean disappearing. It means staying awake to what’s actually happening, and choosing your next step with care.

4. Recovering from the Misstep

The biggest lesson of the night happened when I completely botched a triple-step. My partner just laughed, caught my hand, and found the beat again. In swing, if you mess up a move, you don't stop the music. You just find the "one" count and keep going.

We often treat our real-life mistakes as finales.  The end of the song. But the dance floor reminds us that as long as the music is playing, a stumble is just a stylized transition.

Final Thoughts

I went to the dance hall because I missed the movement, but I left with a reminder of how to interact with the world. Whether you're literally on a dance floor or just navigating the complexities of your week, remember: stay connected, watch the pressure, and don't be afraid to let someone else spin you around every once in a while.

Thanks Jeanine and 2nd Street Dance Co, for movement, connection, a good time, and some serious life’s wisdom.

And I didn't even mention stepping out of my comfort zone or noticing my egoic thinking.  Maybe I will save that for later;)