Your brain is like a supercomputer, and you can learn how to run it, rather than letting it run you.

It sounds almost too simple at first, but when you really sit with it, it changes everything. We move through life on autopilot more often than we realize. So much of our daily experience is shaped by patterns we didn’t consciously choose. Thoughts repeat. Reactions feel automatic. Beliefs quietly guide decisions without ever being questioned.

Having someone in my corner, someone who could reflect back what I couldn’t see, challenge me when I needed it, and hold me accountable to the life I said I wanted, was a turning point.

There was a time in my life when I felt like I was doing all the right things.  Showing up,  supporting others, checking the boxes…  But internally, something felt off.

What I’ve come to understand, both through my own journey and the women I work with, is this:  You can’t create a life you love if you’re unclear about what you actually want.  Clarity isn’t just a nice idea.  It’s the foundation for everything.

Imagine you were given $25,000 to spend in only one area of you life:

Which one did you immediately choose?

Your instinct often reveals your primary Money Dial.

Once you start paying attention to your spending patterns, something interesting happens. You begin to notice that certain purchases feel energizing while others feel unnecessary.

I often say to my students and clients: “Show me how you spend your time, and I’ll show you what you value.”  As I have cleaned up and gotten more intentional about how I spend my time, I’ve realized that our spending habits tell an equally powerful story.  

The biggest lesson of the night happened when I completely botched a triple-step… We often treat our real-life mistakes as finales.  The end of the song. But the dance floor reminds us that as long as the music is playing, a stumble is just a stylized transition.

Sometimes growth doesn’t arrive through forward motion. It arrives through stillness. This past season asked me to pause, shed, and listen more deeply than I ever had before. When life slowed me all the way down, breath, presence, and quiet devotion guided me back to myself… shedding old skins, honoring the body’s wisdom, and allowing growth to unfold without force.

Through journaling, I asked myself difficult questions: What do I want my life to look like? What’s getting in the way? What beliefs am I holding that no longer serve me? The answers didn’t come overnight, but over time, the pages became a safe space for me to process my divorce, acknowledge my exhaustion, and envision a life that felt aligned and fulfilling.

Growth isn't just about cramming in more knowledge, more responsibilities, or more perfection. Sometimes, real growth means cutting back, slowing down, and letting go of that which is no longer working. The Empty Cup Theory is a powerful reminder of this.

I started to play with my days.  I tried new classes.  I changed my routines.  I slowly felt the spark come back.

Even when you are aware of the importance of self care, it can become more things to do on our to do lists if we are not present while we are practicing.

So if you’re feeling like you're just getting through the day instead of loving your days, this flatness could be a nudge in a new direction.

You deserve more than just pushing through. You deserve joy, growth, expansion, excitement…

But what if sometimes, you're carrying something so heavy that you just don't know what to do or you're frozen because you think you should make a decision, but it's a decision that you might not want to make? 

When I find myself in these situations, I ask the universe for a sign.

(If the Universe does not work for you, insert God or the deity/energy force that speaks to you).

What if life could be easy?  What if, instead of ruminating over decisions, communications and what’s next, you could move forward with ease?  If you’re feeling overwhelmed, blocked, uncertain about work, a relationship or what’s next, or like you're carrying something heavy that you just don’t know how to handle, play along with me right now. Let’s simplify everything.

The Universe is always responding to your energy, so access a little bit of presence and a little bit of calm in this moment and just see how quickly you return to that presence of love and connection. It's available to us at all times, we just have to choose it.

When we let go of trying to control everything… when we release even a little of the tension we’re holding… something powerful shifts. Inside that stillness, even if it’s just for a moment, there's a quiet presence—a sense of spaciousness, a whisper of peace.  An inner knowing of what’s next.  That is what happened to me.   

By loving our life and being intentional about what we pour our energy in to, and what we focus on, we can intentionally create fulfillment and joy despite the conditioning of the external world.

While motivation may ignite your path, it is discipline that sustains it. There will be days when motivation wanes, but push through anyway. Keep your commitments to yourself. Your goals are the bridge connecting the life you currently live to the life you aspire to achieve. Know what you want to do and commit to doing it, even when you don’t want to.  I am practicing this right now.

Discipline is the key that unlocks transformation. It requires commitment to your goals, even when motivation wanes. Doing what you ought to do gets you to where you want to be.  Make and honor commitments to yourself.  Even when you are tired.  Even when you're busy.  Even when you don’t want to.  And with that said, embrace the idea that it’s okay to pivot when necessary. 

Again, I didn’t necessarily set out for any of this, but as I took the next inspired action, my life fell into place in a way that was better than I could have imagined, without forcing it or trying to control the outcome!  Ask yourself, what brings you joy and purpose? What is one tiny step you can take in that direction?  Real success aligns with your values and passions, not society's expectations, though you may find that you end up meeting some of them, too, but on your own terms.

And then, a whoosh from within, came a different thought: What if joy isn’t something I have to chase? What if it’s something I get to choose?  So, I did something radical that day. I stopped obsessing over outcomes, stopped attaching my happiness to the next success or the next fleeting pleasure. I stopped at my favorite trail on the way home and went for a walk.  And there it was!  I soon felt the sun on my face, my heart rate accelerate, and joy like it was going to burst through my chest.  It had been a long time since I felt that feeling.