What if the story you believe about yourself isn’t true?

I just returned from Atlanta, Georgia, where I spent several days immersed in NLP Practitioner training, and I came home with more than a new certification. I came home with a deeper understanding of just how much power we have to change the way we experience our past, our present, and even our future.

NLP, which stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, is often described as a collection of tools and techniques for understanding the relationship between our thoughts, language, emotions, behaviors, and experiences. One of the descriptions I love is that NLP is like an operational manual for the brain. Not because our brains actually come with a manual tucked inside the box, but because NLP gives us a framework for becoming more aware of how we think, how we create meaning from our experiences, and how those patterns can influence the choices we make. And sometimes, those patterns are running in the background without us even realizing it.

We Don't Always Need to Change What Happened. We Can Change What It Means.

One of the most powerful parts of my training was learning about TIME techniques.  TIME techniques are based on the idea that we each have an internal way of organizing our memories and anticipated future experiences. By changing our perspective and relationship to those experiences, we can sometimes reduce the emotional intensity attached to them and create new ways of responding.

During my training, I had the opportunity to work with these techniques personally, and I was surprised by what surfaced. I was able to work through and release emotions I had been carrying, including anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt. Some of these emotions were connected to experiences I thought I had already worked through. Apparently, my brain had other ideas.  It was amazing how much lighter I felt after releasing some of these unresourceful emotions from the past, and I continue to feel that lightness today.

I also uncovered limiting beliefs—those deeply held assumptions about ourselves, other people, or the world that can quietly influence what we believe is possible. 

 Maybe I can't do this.  

Who am I to try something different?  

What if I fail?

What will people think?

Shouldn't I just stay with what I know?

Those beliefs can be incredibly convincing. They are LOUD! And sometimes they don't sound like limiting beliefs at all. They sound like common sense.  But here's something I have been thinking about:  A belief can feel true without actually being true.

We develop beliefs for all kinds of reasons. They can come from our experiences, our families, our relationships, our careers, our successes, our disappointments, and the things other people have told us about ourselves. Sometimes those beliefs served an important purpose at one point in our lives. They may have helped us feel safe, accepted, successful, or in control.

But that doesn't necessarily mean they belong in our next chapter.

What Happens When You Start Letting Go?

For me, this NLP work came at an interesting time.  I had spent more than three decades in education. Teaching was a huge part of my identity. It shaped who I was, how I saw myself, and how I understood my contribution to the world. And yet, I knew I was ready for something different.

Leaving education wasn't simply a career decision. It meant letting go of an identity I had carried for most of my adult life. It meant stepping away from something familiar and moving toward something that felt more aligned with who I was becoming.

Through my own coaching, personal growth, and now my NLP training, I have learned that sometimes the biggest obstacle standing between us and our next chapter isn't a lack of ability.  It's the story we are carrying about ourselves.

What if I'm too old?

What if I'm starting over?

What if I don't have enough experience?

What if I disappoint people?

What if I make the wrong choice?

What if I fail?

And sometimes the question underneath all of those questions is simply:  Who am I if I stop being who I've always been?  That question hit me in a very real way when I was making my own career transition.

I was asked in an interview what I thought would be the most challenging part of stepping into my new role. My response was immediate.  I wasn't sure I could let go of the identity of a teacher and step into this new identity.  That was the part that scared me.  But I took the leap anyway.  And I am so incredibly grateful that I did.

I retired from my career in education and accepted a new opportunity as a Future Pathways Coach, where I can continue doing something I love, helping people discover possibilities, recognize their strengths, and create a path forward.  It feels less like leaving one life behind and more like bringing everything I've learned into the next chapter.  And that, to me, is what transformation can look like.  We don't necessarily have to become someone completely different. Sometimes we simply have to release the things that have been keeping us from becoming more fully who we already are.

What Story Are You Carrying?

So I'm curious about you.  What story have you been telling yourself about what you can or cannot do?  Maybe it's about your age.  Maybe it is about your weight.  Maybe it's about your career.  Maybe it's about relationships.  Maybe it's about your ability to start over.  Maybe it's about whether you're capable enough, smart enough, confident enough, or deserving enough.  And what if that story isn't completely true?

Take a few minutes to reflect:

What belief about yourself feels especially loud right now?

Where do you think that belief came from?

Did that belief ever serve a purpose for you?

Is it still serving you today?

What might become possible if you stopped treating that belief as a fact?

Here's a little exercise you can try:

I can't __________ because __________.

Now ask yourself:

What if that isn't completely true?

What would I need to believe for the opposite to be true?

And finally:

If I didn't believe that anymore, I might __________.

You don't have to have the answers immediately. You simply have to become curious.  Sometimes curiosity is where change begins.

Your Next Chapter May Be Waiting

My NLP Practitioner training didn't give me a magic formula for changing my life. It gave me something I believe is much more valuable: more awareness, more choice, and more tools.

I can look at the beliefs I've carried. I can question the stories I've told myself. I can recognize when old emotions are influencing present-day decisions. And I can choose what I want to carry forward and what I'm finally ready to leave behind.  This is the work I want to help others do, too.

I want to help people uncover the beliefs that may be keeping them stuck, examine whether those beliefs are still serving them, and begin dismantling the ones that no longer fit the person they are becoming.  Because sometimes creating a new future doesn't begin with figuring out exactly what you're going to do.  Sometimes it begins with releasing what has been holding you back.

And sometimes the most important question isn't:

“What should I do next?”

It's:

“What would I do next if I stopped believing I couldn't?”

If these questions are stirring something in you, I invite you to explore them. You don't have to know exactly what you want your next chapter to look like. Sometimes the first step is simply becoming curious about what's holding you back.

If you'd like support exploring your own next chapter, I would love to talk with you.