What If You Stopped Fighting What You Feel?

In my last blog, I shared what I learned during my NLP Practitioner training in Atlanta, including how TIME techniques helped me release anger, sadness, fear, hurt, and guilt that I had been carrying from the past.

But there was another tool I learned about long before I ever walked into that NLP training room. EFT.

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and is often referred to as “tapping.” I was introduced to EFT by a therapist nearly 20 years ago, and it has remained a tool I have returned to throughout my own life. I have also taught it to others many times.

Now, after completing my NLP Practitioner training, I have another layer of understanding and another set of tools to bring into my coaching work. And it has me thinking about something I believe many of us need to ask ourselves: What happens when we stop fighting what we feel?

Sometimes We Get Really Good at Carrying Things

We carry grief. We carry disappointment. We carry anger. We carry guilt. We carry fear. We carry hurt. We carry things people said to us years ago. We carry mistakes we made. We carry relationships that ended. We carry identities that no longer fit.

And sometimes we become so accustomed to carrying these things that we don't even realize how heavy they have become. I know this because I've done it myself.

There have been times in my life when I thought I had moved on from something, only to realize that my body, my emotions, or my reactions were still responding as though I were standing in the middle of the original experience. That's one of the things I find so fascinating about our brains. We don't simply remember what happened. We create meaning around what happened. And sometimes those meanings follow us long after the event itself is over.

So, What Is EFT?

EFT, or Emotional Freedom Techniques, combines focused attention on an issue with gentle tapping on specific meridian points on the body.

Many practitioners use EFT as a tool for emotional regulation and for reducing the intensity associated with difficult experiences, emotions, or pain. It can be one way of slowing down, becoming aware of what we're feeling, and creating space between ourselves and an emotional reaction.

For me, one of the most valuable parts of EFT is the opportunity to acknowledge what I'm feeling rather than pretending I don't feel it.

We live in a culture that often encourages us to move on quickly. Get over it. Let it go. Look on the bright side. Be grateful. Keep going… And while those messages may be well-intentioned, sometimes we can't simply positively think our way through an emotion.

Sometimes we need to acknowledge it first. Feel the feels, if you will.

My longtime yoga teacher says, “That which we resist, persists.”

By allowing ourselves to feel what many of us try to avoid, we can begin to move through the discomfort rather than continuing to carry it.

You Can't Release What You're Unwilling to Notice

This is something I've learned through my own journey and through coaching others. We don't have to judge our emotions. We don't have to decide that anger is bad or fear is weakness or sadness means we're not moving forward. Emotions are information.

They can tell us something needs our attention. The question isn't necessarily: “How do I get rid of this feeling?” A more useful question might be: “What is this feeling trying to tell me?”

Maybe anger is telling you that a boundary was crossed. Maybe sadness is telling you that something mattered deeply. Maybe fear is telling you that you're standing at the edge of something unfamiliar. Maybe guilt is reminding you of something you wish you had done differently. Maybe hurt is showing you where you need compassion.

When we become curious about our emotions instead of fighting them, something can begin to shift. And perhaps that is where real change begins, not with forcing ourselves to let go, but with becoming willing to notice what we're holding in the first place.

A Reflection for You

Before you move on, take a moment to consider:

What am I still carrying that I no longer need to carry?

What has holding onto it been costing me?

What would I choose to keep from this experience—the wisdom, the growth, the lesson, or the strength?

What am I ready to put down?

And if I put it down, what might I finally have room for?

You don't have to answer every question. You don't have to figure everything out today.

Just start with one.

What if you put it down?

Ready to Make Room for What's Next?

Sometimes we know we're ready to move forward, but we're not quite sure how to stop carrying what has been weighing us down. You don't have to navigate that process alone.

Coaching gives you a space to slow down, get curious, explore the beliefs and emotions that may be keeping you stuck, and begin choosing what you want to carry into your next chapter and what you're ready to leave behind.

If you're standing at a transition point in your life and wondering “What now?”, I'd love to help you explore what's possible.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to ask, “What if I put it down?” If you're ready to explore your next chapter, let's talk.